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Term 1: The Agony

A state of utter despair that arises when you've finally realized your doomsday prepper bunker is infested with termites.

Example: "I'm experiencing a severe case of The Agony after discovering the termite-ridden walls of my bunker."

Term 2: The Agony-Adjacent Syndrome

A condition where the mere mention of The Agony sends you into a panic-induced coma.

Example: "After hearing about The Agony, John developed The Agony-Adjacent Syndrome and had to be resuscitated with a healthy dose of reality."